dance`diary

2009-08-31T00:04:00.001+08:00

can i say, i think MJ's really cool?! i want to get my hands on the concert recording!

2009-08-23T00:18:00.001+08:00

i never thought that you loved me, neither have i asked for it. but please dont hate me.

2009-08-21T18:53:00.001+08:00

blogger is seriously dumb. ._.

anyway, i think times are crazy. be it by dragging myself through, even though i bleed and cover myself with dirt, or i cry it through and cover myself with tears, i'll do it. i'll do it because i must. even though everytime i try to climb out of the bottomless pit and fall back in, scratching and bruising myself, i still must do it. for everything.

i just think it's such a heartbreaking thing when you put in your effort and you still get this kind of results. and the ultimate sadness come from letting down those who stood by your side, helping you all the while whenever you need them without any complaints; my teachers. im very very very sorry to ms chua. ><

and im so glad i have people i love with me, loving me and never leaving me alone even though i have nothing more to offer them. i can never thank God enough with all my life with the things He blessed me with. too much. too much for what i deserve.

2009-08-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

i dont get it. do i not love you enough. why do you have to make me feel worthless all over again.

i didnt want you to see it. i think i was stupid and i did alot of brainless things. but i dont want you to think that i changed. i didnt. i wont.

2009-08-13T18:44:00.001+08:00

again and again. why we so suay. -.-

2009-08-07T22:30:00.002+08:00

hmmm. i wonder what that means. hahah. love lane. tsktsk.

anyway, i am here to say, i am extremely upset that i did not go out with the class to watch UP today. so many people go somemore. ): infuriating. oh i learnt a new word today, awry. hahah. bena says it means crooked. but i still dont know how to pronounce it. oh back to topic. infuriating cus... i did not go watch movie cus i wanna finish my mountain of workload. i ended up sleeping after doing abit of physics and well... by the end of the day, i cant even finish 1 topic. tmd. -.- and now, despite napping in the afternoon already, i still feeling like sleeping by 9pm at night. something's seriously wrong with me but whatever. im still gonna succumb and sleep. heh.

this weekend's crazy lah. whoever says its time for me to chiong studies ought to be shot. i wasted my only free day, today, sleeping. tomorrow there's band farewell, which i 25% didnt wanna go cus i wanna mug. but i decided let's not overdo the mugging. sunday, can you believe it, im going to watch ndp. -.- besides the pri 5 one, i never watched ndp before, not even on tv. and now, you're telling me to sacrifice hours od study time for abit of fireworks and seeing cute guys in uniform? i suppose the latter is not bad. but but but... hai. okay im really converting into a mugger. lol.

2009-08-06T21:58:00.001+08:00

Was it you
That said that you could never get enough of me
That you confessed
That when we were alone you had to tell yourself to breathe
So maybe I
Should feel a little more like I've been living in a dream
Well I'm asking you should I stay

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(It could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

Why would you
Wanna be with me instead of other guys
Oh make me feel
Like something special
God I think I've heard million times
So would it be enough
To buy you everything and call you mine
Cause it won't last long if I do

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(It could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

If I would leave tomorrow
You'd be the last to know

Even though I love you
If we stay together

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(It could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking bout if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long... long way to go

Long way to go
Long way to go
Still got a long way to go

im weird. aint i? hello my brand of heroin. i dont know if i should curb my addiction. or can i even do it.

2009-08-01T11:06:00.001+08:00

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always

2009-07-28T05:06:00.003+08:00

hmm. a few weeks has passed only and i feel like my life has been sucked off into the black hole never to be found. daddy's fav show was on tv when meimei shouted out to remind him to watch. and daddy made a comment, meimei so guai will remind me, what about you? im like, sorry man dad, i have totally no life now, i dont even come online for leisure but due to this obsession with checking smb, how do you expect me to even know what's on tv?!?! my only source of current affairs is our dear TIME magazine which i've gained nothing much from besides the policies that obama is making and the church he's planning to go to. i dont even know what's G-8. okay, kind souls if you happen to know, you can save me from all that torturing curiosity. oh anyway, yuli reminded me that i do have a life besides that of my endless books and notes and tutorials.

2 funny things happen today:

"1. i was very curious during chemistry about transition metals (HAHHAA) and whether energy supplied must be in the form of light energy in order to promote the electrons to form the coloured solution thingy, so i asked miss chua if i could heat the thing instead. she said it wouldn't matter, cos light energy would be enough, as the electron takes in the a specific amount of energy so even if you supply extra thermal energy it wouldn't affect anything. so i asked:

can i heat in the dark then! before being rebuked by zhonghan with: wah lao you heat in the dark then how you see the colour change you idiot! waah lao.

2. there was this pictorial representation of an advertisement for pizza in the hypothesis testing notes with a phone no: 6425 2525. when shijun came back to the class bench he told us there is an errata in the notes very solemnly and said that HE CALLED THE NUMBER AND IT SAYS IT'S THE SCIENCE CENTRE not pizza selling place. SO RIDICULOUS RIGHT?!"

-yuli

FUNNY RIGHT?! omg like seriously. shijun and friends are like damn cute and boliao or something.

totally inverted my body clock. but well, i realise this way i can study better and studying more makes me feel good. consult with ms how today just made me all the more excited man. esp with the addition in workload. its probably stress or something. but im seriously honestly excited. doesn help when the frequency of me blabbering in rubbish to j/acting like a spastic retard gets higher and higher until he's threatening to not ren me anymore. x.x

pessimism fills my sky and im not gonna invest anymore, regardless of how low you lower your interest rate. we've officially fallen into a liquidity trap.... aaahhhhhhh........

2009-07-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

hey actually, i think i cry like almost every 2/3 days? something's like wrong with my brain or something. i am able to process what's wrong and right with my puny brain but my heart just cant seem to detect it. maybe that's what hindering me from my studies too. everyone's been saying this, I GOTTA START MUGGING! hahah. so here i am, im gonna say it too I GOTTA START MUGGING!!! and it starts tonight! :D wahhh seriously, scored like freakin bad for blocks but somehow, due to some immunisation thingo, i seem to be the only one who's happy with her failing grades. -.- how lame is that.

alright. :D people, lets study together kay. love ya. today i feel that alot of people love me. ^^

2009-07-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

hello world. this is seriously like the time of emo man. like the slightest thing make me think negatively and stuff.

i think 3 people in class dont really like me. it's upsetting in the most subtle ways. not that only 3 people dont like me, but these 3 people affects me most lah.
i dont know how to face 1 person at the moment and is scared of going sch and seeing him/her.
i know another person is really disappointed in me and i felt that i lost this person. this affects me the most. i want to be able to turn back time. and problem is, i dont even know what really went wrong.
i talked to 1 person yesterday and he made me feel all the more unwanted. thanks. even though everything is in the past, i didnt expect your attitude to be like that.
i think 1 teacher in school hates me while the rest thinks im just a lazy complain queen.
never do work for first maths tuition and teacher thinks im lazy.
to this person, i really want to say, im sorry. never once was i fake or have anything against you. like honestly. i do have smth against him associating with you, but no, nothing against you. when i talk you, im happy im really happy and im glad to have you as a friend. i can understand how you feel when i act so mean and unreasonable and selfish. but i hope you can understand how i feel too. do you, pris?

anyway, in general. i just feels that the world hates me and i lost the world, lost everything. what a gloomy season. must be studying overdose.

2009-07-18T21:22:00.002+08:00

in a day, i lost both. i felt like im all alone all of a sudden. although i know there are always people there for me. and talking to him makes me feel all the more unwanted.

2009-07-18T09:49:00.003+08:00

weird. im going to face it tomorrow. ohwell... so be it. thanks to those who care. (: without you guys, i'll feel that im worthless thing.

anyway, today is a saturday. how about 6 more weeks to prelim? more and more consults, more and more tuition. hopefully, they'll save me from the bottomless pit that i feel in and struggling to climb up.

anyway, today is a saturday. im so sorry ra if you see this msg. lz cant confirm if he wants to go out, jason wants to chiong his pw, so there goes our plan. unless lz suddenly decides that he wants to go out in the late afternoon or at night and you happen to be free, if not, let's just stay at home and be good muggers alright?

it's 10am. alright, i give in. i miss you. im going sembawang. hope to see you there.
i need a pill that cures obsession. isit even found in brave new world?

2009-07-15T01:59:00.003+08:00

it's 2am in the morning now and im blogging here. hmm. just felt like typing down what i feel right now.

i talked to someone on the phone a few moments ago which left me kinda shocked and hurt. was pretty angry and disappointed at first. and i tried complaining to people but after that, talking to another person woke me up, making me realise the problem lying with the first person is probably 5% while the other 95% lies with me. come to think of it, it's probably true that im some 2 faced bitch in school as i am everywhere else and everybody can see through that. i actually suck as much as i think other people do but i just cant open my eyes and acknowledge that fact. i just want to say im sorry.

2009-07-12T15:13:00.002+08:00

im here to post a public apology to bestie VERASHAWMINGYOKE. ><

im so sorry dear. i stupidly left my phone at home when i go church. couldnt contact you and made you wait for 3 hours. im so so so sorry. :'( zhen dui bu qi. im announcing here that i'll treat you to a bowl of zha jiang mian next thurs alright? sorrryyy. x.x

2009-07-08T22:22:00.002+08:00

I PACKED MY ROOM!!! *happy face :D

no more procrastination! i really did pack my room. hee. oh alright fine. i did procrastinate. like i spent the entire afternoon watching show and only started packing at night, but i did it anyway. so who cares. yupyup. but oh. didnt play piano today. how sad. *sad face

2009-07-08T17:48:00.003+08:00

blocks are over.

that, sounded pretty miserable somehow. to add on, i feel motivated more than ever to study. starting off by packing up the mess i created during this period of time tonight. i need to find the focus in my life. i need to get a life. and that starts with mugging. im dead serious. well and of course, piano. its weird, but i had my whole mind on room packing and piano on my way back home. after movie with liuzhen, ra and jason, i didnt really feel like going out or hanging around. just wanna go back home and pack up the mess and shit. :/

ohwell. and life starts with reading my bible too. i want to get another bible. :x

2009-07-06T14:11:00.002+08:00

happy youth day people. alright. not very happy. im sure 90% of the people have no idea today's a public holiday. (: just like me.

anyway, entire morning passed. did nothing much. realised i couldnt do electric field at all while mrs tan just ignores all my smses. x.x getting more and more complacent, or am i just giving up? nahh. cannot must work hard to show that person i can do it. he can go eat my shit when i get all As.

on another note, im starting to love my piano again. ^^ sometimes i think, only through music and dance can i find control in my life. :/

2009-07-05T19:34:00.003+08:00

anyway, i read through my posts last year. how i wish my life will go back to before. music, dance and...

oops. 5 posts in a row. dont blog then leave my blog dead. once i start blogging then blog until no space. -.-

2009-07-05T19:29:00.002+08:00

oh you couldnt believe it. i thought chem exam was tomorrow and physics was on wednesday. i have no idea why but i've always thought so since forever. even after

mommy: have school tomorrow?
me: duh?! chem exam leh.
mommy: huh. why your school siao ah. tomorrow youth's day leh.
me: you now then know my school siao ah. slave drivers.

until zhikai asked what time does school end tomorrow and i checked smb to realise...

there's no school tomorrow and IT'S PHYSICS ON TUESDAY AND CHEM ON WEDNESDAY!!! whats wrong with me, i dont even know when are my exams. i nearly wanted to study chem all the way then study physics after chem. x.x can you imagine if i did that. awesome man...

2009-07-05T19:20:00.001+08:00

it's raining. i remember telling you about the rain and the moon and the stars.

2009-07-05T18:50:00.007+08:00

on the other hand, so much has happened without me updating them on this little blog of mine. but this dumb thing here refuse to let me post any photos ): whatever.

anyway pris, dont believe what jason says, he's crapping. he makes me sound like some 2 faced bitch. lol. dumb thing.

and cheryl, im sooo sorry i couldnt go for your birthday bash. >< blame it on stupid hwachong exams. ): i'll give you a kiss and a big hug to make up for it! <33

hello yuli, i suddenly feel like playing piano again! okay random. i've always thought you are a pro little piano thing! X) anyway, you probably dont know. but whenever i feel like im falling, you'll be my source of motivation! ^^ thank you for your existence! hahah. this is really random. but i mean every word of it.

jiayou too sicheng!

baobei krystal! i've got weirder and weider dreams since i read about yours. i dreamt that i was an alcohol molecule after studying organic chem and i dreamt of my shirt size varying due to normal distribution! see i told ya. i study alot okay. until i have nightmares. :D

hello fat vera. hanging out with you too much makes me fat too. ):

sophie dear, hang on there. im with you. all the time. though sometimes, i know im a sucky friend and cant put myself in other people's shoes. but i love you all the same. hang on there. im with you.

on the third hand, i want to tell this someone, if i am to become top scorer of A levels 2009, or at the very least, score all As for my A levels, credit goes all to you for despising me and hitting my self esteem to rock bottom. thank you very much.

a very reflective day. angsty, emotional, rainy. and i played my piano today too. after more than 6 months of neglecting it.

2009-07-05T18:23:00.005+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

As the music plays, i couldn't help but remember. it's sick, but i set it on a constant playback to soak myself in the pain. i dont even know if the regret is worth it, because i dont know if it will ever work, even if i were to turn back time. it's true then, that you were the one i gave my heart to. and i couldnt take it back. a new start couldnt make me forget, or simply maybe this period of time is not enough to erase my memories. i realise, i can still cry for you, or is it just because i want to convince myself, how much i can give to you? sometimes, i feel like im creating this little drama of my own, after watching too many shows, hoping to live in my fairytale. i dont know what i want, moping after what i've lost, knowing that even if i havent lost it, i couldnt have it anyway. you left so much of yourself in my life, i find myself unable to wipe you out entirely. yet, you were able to forget me, and face me in a new perspective. you probably went through the same amount of pain, maybe even more. you did right, but part of me hate you for being able to do so. the selfish me still want the best of both worlds. the love that you gave me, is probably more than anyone is capable of giving. and i let it slip by. all because of my foolishness and lack of courage.

2009-06-18T12:24:00.002+08:00

my dear krystal baobei. i love you i love you i love you!!! we all love you no matter what alright. dont blame it upon yourself because we understand it's not your fault. what matters most, i can already see it coming from you, and that's enough. bplusb will stick together always always and love each other no matter what. <33

2009-06-12T01:51:00.001+08:00

oh uh. in response to baobei's crazy ridiculous dream. i have my own lame dream. i dreamt that i was snow white and gu jun pyo was the prince. -.- lol.

2009-06-11T08:45:00.003+08:00

im screwed lah. what. is. wrong. with. me. i tried every ways and means to study but i end up doing other things. tell you a secret. i haven done the stupid physics thing. the structured part that i left out. i wanted to do it yesterday. butbut... i fell asleep from 7 till 8 this morning. that's like. 13 hours of sleep. x.x what is my brain for man seriously. just cus i dont use it last time, now when i use it, it hurts like shit everytime i study then i'll need loads of sleep to make up for it. not to mention, i owe so many people trips out.

today - badmintion with lz daddy?
sunday - shopping with julie
tuesday - sentosa with ballet babes

i dont know. it's just 2/3 days. but it means so much to me. i can cover so much in a day. and i have so little time already. should go kill myself. i dont want to give up for bt2. really want to do better. ): okay it means staying in school everyday, i'll do it. going to school after breakfast!

2009-06-09T22:55:00.001+08:00

omg angry angry. i wanted soooo much to wish yuli today but i forgot. x.x im so sorry!!! i keep reminding myself but i still forgot ultimately. :x so i decided i shouldn't wish belated anyway.

anyway, i finally did that stupid physics thing for the class. going to type it online now and send it to mrs tan. x.x head damn pain la. okay damn. i just realised i didn do the structured. how.

2009-06-08T20:35:00.001+08:00

today you sat so close, yet i felt that you are so far away.
the wait is eating me alive and yet. yet. yet i cant help but wait.

2009-06-05T22:27:00.001+08:00

here's thanks to those who care. im fine, really. dont worry. i think it's just pms. loves. <33

2009-06-05T22:24:00.002+08:00

to you. i think i just lost you. how. im not too sure. but im sure it's me. i dont know why. but i feel pain. to you, i've probably become another person, i think i know it myself. i tried to change back, i tried to make things right, but they just dont. you just dont feel the same to me again. and i'll never have you back, will i? but i need you. i dont know why you are so important to me. it even seemed ridiculous.

anyway, i dont know what else to say, what else to do. you chose to ignore me even when i put my pride down to talk to you. i suppose this is it, the end.

2009-05-24T00:52:00.005+08:00

it's over. i dont know how should i feel actually. i thought i would be really relieved and happy it's over. but but... somehow at the very end, i felt some love from there and... i dont feel like leaving. hmmm, anyway, i want to thank people.

thank you

shionyee and vera for flowers (vera gave me some leftover thing meant for other ppl -.-)
yuli, bena, lichan and jihao for supporting (stop laughing at my weird dancing! ><)
sophia and kunkun for flowers and support (i love your roses! ^^)
darling! <33
huihong and sly (and baobei for her support though she's not there. <3)
lz daddy (here you are. thanks for coming down for meee! ^^ love ya!)
STEPH! (omgomg that cute big girl. hahaha. bought me random stuff. <3)

and others whom i left over. ><

plusplus

caroline
charmaine
xiping
chit
sarah
bojia
anthony
charmaine's partner dont know what name
xiping's partner dont know what name
chit's partner dont know what name
andre
shenghong
and... SIQUAN! ^^

anyway baby, why was yesterday memorable?

2009-05-21T21:46:00.001+08:00

百年先も愛を誓うよ
君は僕の全てさ
どんな君も　どんな僕でも
一つ一つが愛しい　
君がいれば何もいらない
きっと幸せにするから
百年先も愛を誓うよ
君は僕の全てさ
愛している　ただ愛している
同じ明日約束しよう
世界中にただ一人だけ
僕は君を選んだ
君といれば　どんな未来も
ずっと輝いてるから

one two three four
tell me that you love me more <3

2009-05-19T00:15:00.003+08:00

hmm... reached home at 2330 today after the gl fusion timing of 2000 to 2200. but well, today's session proved to be of some worth. cus i finally managed to improve, i dont know by how much. though there's so much more to go and i dont know how i'll do eventually on the big days. it's in 3 days time and uhh... im still, i still look blur and dont fit in. okok linpeirong, jiayou hao bu hao. hang on, it's just a few days more.

come what come may, time and hour runs through the toughest day. i still need to do gp article review which uhh, i totally agree with vera that there's is no point doing. -.- waste my time only.

oh and just in case people are curious about the question that i posted them today about the snails. snails lays eggs alright. yup. that's how they reproduce. and snails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both males and females reproductive organs, potential transexuals. :P

2009-05-13T22:44:00.001+08:00

today i feel determined.

finish tutoring work and...

2009-05-11T20:31:00.003+08:00

ohmy ohmy. slacked the whole day. never do anything. so shi bai. x.x okay. must wake up do mptp. ><

2009-05-10T11:26:00.003+08:00

heh. i should put a disclaimer to my blog hor. after what cynthia said. what you see here, please do not infer further. lol. cus there's nothing to infer.

hmm. today's mugmug day. i didnt go ballet AGAIN us darling wants to study but never tell me what time. he better be here early or he's gonna waste my time waiting and im going to get really not happy again. i think i'll go ballet... on tue? i want to.

but that reminds me, i have fusion prac on tue. and it's just 13 days to dancenight. last week, it seemed really far to me and i was still thinking, wahh why so uptight, still so far away what. but then yesterday, i see how unprepared and sucky i am, how all the stuff dont flow well, i dont think about others right now, but myself, im not doing my part. i guess there's this new way of looking at dancenight pracs now. (: may be a good thing. hopefully.

alright, off to pack my room now before darling comes.

2009-05-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

phiaphia has this stalker stealing all her things. i have this stalker mosquito who keeps biting me everywhere, with this fetish for my left leg. i've got like 10 bites there now, not to exclude weird other spots like my elbow and my stomach. it's like some internal mosquito thing, everyday i get one bite. so freaky. -.-

2009-05-08T22:24:00.002+08:00

hmm. i wanna thank my darling alot alot, for being through all my mood swings with me, putting up with all my weirdness, all my craziness, never complaining. thank you dear for all the encouragement, studying with me, always giving in to me and braving through all those awkward times with my family :P love you darling, alot alot. <33

2009-05-08T22:15:00.002+08:00

GOLD!!! ^^ actually, that's all i need. glory be to God for all that we have. i thank HcBand for being so supportive and understanding to me all the while i missed band pracs, i thank my awesome sectionmates for all being so supportive and their guidance and patience as well all these while, i thank my family for giving me strength and i thank my darling for all the encouragement all these while. i love all of you alot alot! <33 HcBand ftw!

the notes are the music, we are the soul

makes absolutely no sense to me but who cares!

2009-05-04T02:05:00.003+08:00

hmmm i guessed i did promise not to come online so often? okay, i've been in denial. im here almost every night except that i dont blog and leave evidence for myself that indeed, i came online as expected. many many things happen during this period of time. i dont know how to cope with it with the obvious being the least of my problems. i just cant wait. cant wait for may to be over. okay, of course if im able to stay for AYG that'll be awesome and a bonus, but well... i just want may to be over. sometimes i dont see the point of continuing, seeing that i've lost certain things on the way. but i just have to, because of my actions in the past. alright, on saturday, i realised i did do a stupid thing, i mean, promised something really dumb, i guess... out of desperation? and im really sorry about it. really. i take back my words, the part where i claimed that i never said it. i did. and i regret it. or maybe not? if i didnt, i probably wouldnt have what i have right now. but then again, who says im enjoying it all? hmm... i'll say there's 2 sides to everything bah. hahah. this is like a quote from huihong. alright, regarding that, i'll just pray pray pray very very hard that the Lord will tide me through it all in the best way possible. :) and i trust that He makes the most perfect decisions.

met up with my deardears steph and huihong yesterday and my darling tanjialing today! lets start with the first. steph called me up randomly while i was in holding room waiting for my turn during salt run. turned out she had SATS in hwachong so she shun bian called me up lunch. talked talked alot. hahah. i realised almost everytime i talk to steph, i'll learn to see things in a new light. well... on saturday, i sort of figured a direction for myself, for the first time in my life, i know where to go, where i belong to. however, whether or not eventually i'll reach there is still an unknown. that's up to my discipline and brains. but well... at least im not wondering around like some headless chicken.

huihong came to the wake yesterday. i missed her sooo much i refuse let her hang up the phone to prepare to meet me. it's great to know how you're doing baby but when things get tough, you know im always around for you, no matter how busy i am. she made me realise how blessed i am actually, and i dont mean using her as a comparison. its just the things that we talk about that made me feel that way, and i learnt to treasure people around me more.

today was a really really bad day. like wth. suppose to meet in sch by 7am. fine i leave house like my normal time, 5.50am. after my 88 i change to 74. before i knew it, im at this ulu place which showed no signs of living things, called dover mrt station. -.- never mind. i walked over to take the bus back from the reverse direction. waited for freakin half an hour for the bus because it's a sunday morning. was so happy i reached KAP i msged darling. before i knew it, im at coro. #$^#^%$ overshot, again. took another bus back to salt. reached at? 7.45am -.- went rp for rehearsal. not bad experience playing in that metal toilet. happily met up with jialing for lunch. made her wait like more than half hour due to unforseen circumstances. end up she didnt eat she was just waiting for me to spend time with me. happily went up the bus with her to her tuition place. and then she said, "uhhh can i ask you something that may give you a shock?" "uhuh" "do you know what day is it today?"

im like O.O!!! *hurriedly checked my phone calendar* ohmy my darling tanjialing. im so so so sorryyyy.... >< im seriously the stupidest most brainless thing growing on earth. i didnt mean to forget. i'll never ever forgive myself, seriously. i must have disappointed you soooo much, asking you out and yet, forgetting your BIRTHDAY! im soooo sorrryy dear. i really really sincerely pray that you'll have a awesome year ahead and i just want to tell you how much i love you (even though i forgot your birthday x.x) iloveyou iloveyouuuu!!! <33 my bestest oldest friend! ^^

happily went back home and waited for darling at the bus stop when i realised, I LOST MY KEYS! wthwthwth. what is wrong with me. WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME??? the saddest part is not the keys, i can always make those again... it's the keychain on my keys..... :'( they mean more to me than anything else. they're the only present to me from jialing that has the most sentimental value to me, i dont know why. it's just this random keychain she bought from new york for me, not like she never give me other things before, but somehow, it's just this keychain that has most sentimental value to me and I LOST IT. i seriously... owe jialing 2 lives. i'll be your slave alright. im going to head down to the interchange to hunt for my keychain, i may have left it on 156. or maybe it's in sch. hope darling can find it in sch for me tomorrow. T.T

alright. it's really late. let me end of this sad-but-maybe-not-so-sad-afterall day post here. good night.

2009-05-03T01:49:00.001+08:00

i have a aim in life. i finally have one. ^^

2009-04-27T22:52:00.001+08:00

this will hopefully be my last post before i post again in dont know how long because i messed up my studies and i need to turn into some disgusting mugger. yup. good day to you people.

2009-04-26T16:37:00.001+08:00

im totally in love with ji hoon esp him with his specs! <3<3<3

2009-04-26T10:11:00.002+08:00

watched knowing last night and it gave me a nightmare lah. wth. i dreamt that huihong and jialing had this weird pyschic ability and huihong told me i will die the next day under a orangey starry night sky. damn it. in my dream i suffered a whole night of fear not daring to step out of my house or risk being in open area. then next i dreamt that i was in a sampan with cynthia. dont know why sampaning around this area which looks like this construction site only to find out we're under a hospital. there are lots of departments in the hospital and the departments have headings like "how to make white mice blue with cotton" and "tiger tails". totally random and nonsensical. lol.

2009-04-18T20:11:00.002+08:00

i really really love my section!!! ^^ we can play together every night under the stars and feed mosquitoes! :D:D:D

i think im slowly finding what ive always been aimlessly been looking for. and with that, i face my everyday with a smile. :)

2009-04-18T19:54:00.003+08:00

im really really sorry for doing what i did. not making a clear decision, or even not keeping my word. i know what i did was really being unfair to both parties. but i just want to assure you, i know what im doing. i know my priorities. and i want to tell you, it wasnt your fault that things end up like this. i made the decision myself and i never once regretted. my passion still lies where it lies. :) thanks for all that you have done for me, i mean all that worrying and concern. i understand where you are coming from.

all i got to say is that, it all came too late. but im not complaining. at least, it came.

2009-04-16T20:41:00.003+08:00

dont say the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon

cool hor. hahah. got that from my uncle's msn.

anyway, baby's not happy today. :'(

2009-04-14T21:36:00.004+08:00

1 General Paper H1 51.5 D 233 59%
2 Mathematics H2 MC NA/Exempted 0 0%
3 Physics H2 41.2 S 463 15%
4 Chemistry H2 40 S 651 12%
5 Economics H2 42 S 776 12%

dont have great results to boast of or show to everyone (unlike dear yuli. hahah.) but what shall i say? i thank God nonetheless for what i have. i aimed for no Us this block test. no aspiration you may say, think whatever you like. but no getting a U for me is hard as anything considering i havent been putting much of my attention into my academics all this while. so looking at my list of Ss, im happy with it. A little disappointed because the luck i've been tapping into havent been coming. okay, see. God is trying to tell me something. there's no such thing as luck baby. you got to work hard for what you want. the occasional unexpected nice grades are just little blessings that the Lord has decided to reward you with maybe for being a good girl. but when it's time for you to wake up, He'll wake you up. and now's the time. a brush across Us is a big enough wake up call for me. the message cant be any clearer. God can hold my hand and guide me, but if i dont take the first step myself, i wont ever get there.

what i realised is that during this particular period of time, people start getting motivated and bracing themselves up. hahah. i guess it's a good sign! ^^ people working hard towards As, jiayou jiayou!

oh and i did go for ballet anyway. hahah. was 1 hour late and arrived just in time for half an hour of pointe. omg. want my ankles' life. you want it? alright, take it. i surrender. oh God, please tell me what to do with my ankles? they just keep giving away. i couldn't even reach the stage of feeling the pain in my toes or my feet because i simply couldn't even get up or stay there. >< no matter how willing i am to embrace the pain, i got to be able to get up there en pointe first. this is really depressing. ><

2009-04-14T05:45:00.002+08:00

hello it's 5.45 in the morning and im here. waiting for 5.50 to strike before i leave house. anyway, i didnt wake up at 10 yesterday. :( baby did tried to wake me up but it didnt work. not even with that excited happy tone. lol. i almost overslept this morning because i didnt set alarm. woke up naturally at 5.17 to rub my eyes intending to go back to sleep when i saw the clock. had a shock. lol. alright. finish ranting on how not disciplined and not productive i am. time to go school. hmm. think i wont go ballet today lah. want to finish up my work. :/

2009-04-13T19:35:00.003+08:00

i thank the Lord Jesus for the many many many many countless things He blessed my everyday with.

"The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me" -hebrew 13:6
You give me courage to bring me through my everyday! ^^

2009-04-13T19:31:00.002+08:00

got this from yongen's blog:

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...

Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer
and Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now. God can use you to your full potential.
Besides, YOU aren't the message, you are just the messenger.

(she got this from facebook and i think bro stoneking mentioned it during dcd too.)

2009-04-13T19:12:00.005+08:00

okay i shall list down what i want to do tonight okay?

1. maths tutorial 15B
2. physics e-field tutorial

alright. that's all for tonight. shall not be too ambitious. and anyway, i got to pack my room one day. it's too... okay i cant find stuff. so you get it.

YAY! can you believe it! tomorrow's ballet class will be inter! hee. im quite excited. and happy. because grade 7 is over. im gonna start inter, which i dont have to take exam! hahah. though i forsee inter's gonna be so... x.x GG. lol. ms pang's pirouettes now have an added double, lots of sticking your leg out for long long time and holding it there. i think, given this standard, if i go for every inter class, i'll grow very skinny and muscular. lol. but no, im not. i cant. T.T

alright. im going to sleep now. all i got to do, is to wake up at 10 to do my work. okay, lets go find people and equipment to prepare to wake me up. lalala...

2009-04-13T14:11:00.004+08:00

one down. three more to go.

had ballet exam today. turned out better than i thought. screwed up a little for barre when i was too engrossed with copying rachellim but gained my composure quick after that i guess. ^^ examiner looked pretty pleasant most of the time, i thought she smiled quite alot? but the rest said she wasnt. maybe i was a little in denial. hahah. but whatever it is. i felt good after that exam. as in, i probably didnt do well, but i did triy to bring joy to my audience. :) hopefully i'll score a reasonable score and not let ms pang down. pahh! lets not think about the times when i forget to close back to my fifth after my sissones and my unstraight legs when i jump. those totally wasnt in my mind when i dance. i was overly obsessed in trying to make her smile. lol! and did i pass through first before starting my dance?! oops. ohnoooo. okay stop thinking stop thinking. more mistakes keep appearing. ><

my lovable exam group! <33 we all looked like eggs. >< didnt want to put this up actually cus we looked too weird. but ohwell, i feel so happy about this exam i i can provide a little entertainment to the readers of my blog. go ahead and have a good laugh. lol.

oh did i mention? i really liked my new skin! sort of edited and made it myself. hee. proud of it! lalala... okay i should stop saying that before rachelng starts doubting my age again. -.-

2009-04-12T21:24:00.009+08:00

hmm. i think today... im pretty proud of myself. i did learnt to be a more sensible girl, did i? i want a kiss and a pat on the back. ^^

ballet wasnt good today. started off with inter, which bahhh... i pretty much sucked at it. and then it was grade 7, which was well... i guess worse? since exam's tomorrow and both ms pang and rachel were giving me negative vibes. lol! probably thinking too much but well, that doesnt help much. :/ and rachel has to scare me by saying that the examiner's really scary and not friendly. bahhh whatever, im just going to seduce her lah. believe me im gonna do it. im gonna use the power mask that jialing gave me for my birthday to recharge myself for tomorrow and i remembered to put it in the fridge first! ^^

studied with belle today. pretty productive. actually, i think this was first time in dont know how long that i sat down properly to study. like seriously... i never even studied properly like this for my blocks which, by the way, spells PHAIL... okay i admit, i didnt do much and was smsing most of the time. but the mood was there. i found the study mood today. i was searching it for a super long time. zhong yu zhao dao ni le. heh heh heh. i was so happy to be able to study again i kind of cant bear to stop studying. so i planned and planned stuff to study in the night. uhh. in the end, im here. what. am. i. doing. here. i have no idea. lol. oh and i found a new hobby. i realise, i like reading newsweek afterall. it makes me feel smart although most of the time, i dont get what im reading. credits to dear yuli for introducing me newsweek. i bet she doesnt even know when did she do that. lol. okay, i wont throw my newsweeks away anymore. :D save the earth.

i realised, after taking a step back and using a lighter heart to assimilate and absorb everything makes the world seem like a better place. you dont get frustrated, you dont get angry, you dont feel numb, you just feel lighter.

alright. no more complains. here's 6 alternatives to fasting from an email that yongen sent me.

1. fast from anger and hatred: give your loved ones an extra dose of love each day
2. fast from judging people: before making any judgement, recall how Jesus overlooks our faults
3. fast from discouragement: hold on to Jesus's promise that He has a perfect plan for your life
4. fast from complaining: when you find yourself about to complain, close your eyes and recall some of the little moments of joy Jesus has given you
5. fast from resentment of bitterness: work on forgiving those who may have hurt you
6. fast from spending too much money: try to reduce your spending by 10% and give those savings to the poor

guess i have alot to work on. :)

2009-04-12T07:35:00.002+08:00

waahh i realised i never reply alot of tags leh. hahah.

yuli: YAH heh. i think last photo very funny mah. hahahah. not to mention finding out how you named all your photos. lol. and i just changed all the i to your name lah! lazy...

soph: heh! the school loves us! and yeah babies of a diapers roll on the baby cot together man. lol.

jialing: hellow love love! i love you! <33

vera: no? why must love you you puff of fat! hahahah.

huihong: hahahah. huihong very funny!!! dont worry. i wont leak your secret. it's safe with me.

2009-04-10T16:41:00.003+08:00

my own post

things have been happening too fast recently. no time to think. too screwed. i dont know how am i suppose to explain myself given im in this mess. but i just want to make it clear that committment is something i value alot too, alongside sincerity and responsibility. i dont do things for the sake of... i dont know, but i do things because i love doing them. not for people, not for any specific reasons, but just because i love doing them. i dont know how to explain myself so people will get this. but i guess, i shouldnt really care if they cast upon me weird looks and have a bad impression of me. i have more important things for me to think about. but... i just cant help it sometimes you see... i know i let alot of people down, im really sorry. give me some time, i'll pick myself up.

2009-04-10T16:24:00.003+08:00

i decided i like yuli's post and pictures. KOPE WHOLESALE. :D:D:D

6q went peranakan museum yesterday, which was quite nice! (yuli) think when you grow old you tend to be more appreciative of things and be excited about cultures and everything so it's not dry at all. was quite shocked when only 4 classes went yesterday but (yuli) guess every one will get their turn soon (: photos credit to vera's facebook abit grainy cos of facebook's quality but (yuli) edited the photos so it's abit brighter and more vibrant.

end of museum post but i like the part that came after that too.

How do you prove that God exist?

A new believer who encounters God first hand and for the first time tends to pose this question, which is very understandable really, because in living we are taught to focus on the empirical, apparent and tangible evidence. When I pondered upon this question today, perhaps the way to go isn't looking for cold hard evidence... but to look within ourselves and do an introspective examination. Somewhere in our hearts, we know that there's a God-shaped hole that cannot be filled up by earthly achievements. Spiritually and mentally we need help and this help has to come from the faith in God, which is why there must be a higher being, ie, God somewhere to guide us and save us.

Oh wells anyway, Good Friday is now/today this second, so remember the significance of today and well I guess every one deserves a break for now, but do still take some time to pray and be thankful (:

2009-04-08T21:35:00.002+08:00

read baobei's post and i kinda want to reflect upon myself.

sleeping sleeping sleeping. that's what i've been doing all the time these days. i even missed dinner for 3 nights consecutively not to mention not seeing my parents at all all because of sleeping. thing is, i sleep so much at home, i go school still want to sleep. but okay lah. not bad. at least i see a little bit of improvement of myself in school. im pretty determined to score better for block test 2 seeing how my teachers are getting disappointed with me and the lie i said to my parents that im confident i'll do well by A's. at least, i try to listen in lectures now and tutorials. math lect on probability is going on pretty well, tho im kind of a little lost but just a little. e field is going good because i read ahead of tutorial even though i didnt try it. i did chem QA mindmap and attempted the 2nd question of the chem paper before ms chua goes through them so i know what's going on. i tried econs tutorial the essay outline before the tutorial. :D:D:D pretty proud of myself for doing so much! ^^ i mean okay, that may not be alot to you, but it's a big step for me considering i dont do ANYTHING usually. im turning over a new leaf. heh. i want to be a purple leaf.

oh and after some discussion with fatcake and a series of persuasion from jas, i decided i shall name my daughter caihong (rainbow) instead of baiyun (white clouds). hahah. i only decided to drop baiyun because jas say baiyun is a fat person. lol. wanted my son to be baifeng but zhikai say, should name after him, jingkai, which i thought was not bad. hahah. wanted baiyang (sun) also, but everyone says it sounds like white sheep, which was pretty gay for a guy, so jingkai he shall be. i think my daqughter's name's gonna be soooo cute. hahah. caihong caihong!

felt pretty screwed actually these days because of... well, i shall not mention, since its a mess that i created myself. i really hope it'll all be over soon and people around me will really understanding about it. im sorry. ><

2009-04-05T09:36:00.003+08:00

thanks to phiaphiaa who JUST added hweehwee birthday photos on facebook... hahaha. i found some really awesome photos i want to share.

INTRODUCING.... MY WONDERFUL DARLING BPLUSB!!!

and i thought this look rather funny. wahahahah.

2009-04-05T09:14:00.001+08:00

actually i still cant get over it. after reading chai and mommy's blog, i still can feel that overwhelming sense of... i dont know.

2009-04-04T23:42:00.001+08:00

the hole is eating me up

2009-04-04T22:16:00.001+08:00

4th april 2009

it feels like you're putting a huge stone on my chest, crushing my heart. it makes me breathless. i feel like just falling into it and never getting up.

2009-04-04T22:12:00.004+08:00

friday, 3rd april 2009

im just gonna say, im really really proud of csb and nycb. after a night of thoughts, after repeatedly hearing the recordings, im still touched to tears by the songs. and i came to a conclusion, you guys were awesome no matter how other people judged you guys to be. really. im proud of you guys. every single one. and i really want to thank ms sia and mr ong for their hard work. im sure they loved us just as much as all their other bands and the blow to them was no less than it was to us.

jiayou, csb. :)

alright. went for section dinner with my act cool section! :D:D:D

2009-03-29T00:13:00.003+08:00

EARTH HOUR'09 officially ended! hmmm. i would say it's quite a success. :) but that's probably because im so unexposed to such stuff. zhikai was really upset about it, claiming it to be a total failure. dont worry, you did a good job lah boy! ^^ today made me realise, how sua ku i am, and how immature i am in handling stuff. im really far from being ready to face the world. which made me kind of want to do more of these stuff, no longer for the sake of doing so, but to gain experience from it. wanted to do NDP DUNK IT'09 but well, i guess it may be a little too much for me. :/

CBD with lights off!

CDC with lights off! not bad lah. at least 75% were off :D

lights sticks at countdown

jialing and i! <33

ballet open house today for the parents. managed to convince my mom not to go. ms pang wasnt very happy. she went like, "so why are you here?" anyway, not too bad, didnt make much of mistakes. but didnt do my best either. :/ ms pang was telling everyone about the inter exam. if we're taking we'll be having classes everyday except thursday. sounds pretty awesome to me to have class almost everyday! but well... due to my cca committements in school, i can only make it on 2 out of 6 days. x.x and ms pang says you gotta do steady doubles, strong pointework and nice grande jetes. which spells a total... PHAILLLL!!! lol. i guess im not ready for inter lah. gotta really mug hard for A's this year liao. ><

2009-03-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

just want to say, thank you my Lord Jesus for always never forsaking me, for giving me strength and comfort when im most broken. i love my dearest Father.

2009-03-26T20:13:00.001+08:00

i guess it's true then. the higher your hopes, the greater your disappointment. i tried you know, i really did. but i just cant get over it. im sorry.

2009-03-25T23:45:00.001+08:00

i so didnt stalk some random woman and her son home today. :x

2009-03-24T10:50:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <33

2009-03-17T10:12:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-03-16T21:05:00.003+08:00

im here to declare my love for my oldest best friend: TAN JIA LING!!! ^^
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you! <333 thanks for always being there for me, through the ups and downs in my life, being there for me to sayang and bully, never uttering a single complaint or ever get really upset with me through my mood swings if i have them. hahah. i lurrrbbb eeeuu!!! and thanks for being my shi fu in the eggy business! hahahah. one day i'll become a real chef and whip up something awesome just for you!

2009-03-15T18:39:00.004+08:00

oh let me kope vera's post for fri. hah. that's for always koping mine!

island creamery with FATCLUB ( minus fatpie a.k.a benalim ) after physics paper :D

so yeah. after island creamery we went to adam road for lunch (: peirong is damn gross. i hate eating with her.

YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER EAT WITH HER TOO

her conversation topic NEVER FAILS to link to shit.

you know, peirong and i shared hokkien mee and fried oysters. she doesnt eat the oysters, i do. then she kept telling me that the fat soft soft part of the osyters is shit and that im eating shit.

you know how gross that was? she kept talking about it and poking that soft soft part until whatever is inside all started oozing out, then she continued playing with it and going " shit shit! "

what the hell? i freaking already ate 3 oysters and i felt so sick and grossed out i didnt want to eat anymore lest its really shit :/

okay, even if it is shit, PLEASE DONT TAG ON MY HALOSCAN AND TELL ME THAT IT REALLY IS OKAY.

because i really like eating oysters :D

then shionyee and peirong scooted off to town while i went back home to bathe, change then meet mark before we met up with peirong and jason in town :D

okay i decided vera's post was too amazing i shouldn't edit any part of it. lol.

2009-03-15T18:34:00.001+08:00

hmmm... i dont think its very normal leh. but anything lah. i trust you? please tell me you can be trusted. hahah.

2009-03-12T13:47:00.001+08:00

i decided i like cirque de soleil. it's so amazing.

2009-03-09T19:45:00.004+08:00

yesterday was a pretty depressing day. mugged superposition the entire thinking it was productive and today mrs tan had to demoralise me by giving me that bu nai fan tone. im sorry im stupid. but i really really want to learn mah. and im really slow. >< shionyee was nice enough to offer to teach me tomorrow in her house! THANK YOU LOVE LOVE! <3

your words actually gave me a tight slap on the face, bet you didnt know that right baby. i meant it in the positive sense. and right after that, daddy had to give me that you-got-to-do-well talk all over again. the combination kind of made me break down a little. sakura intl buffet wasnt that awesome after all.

slept at 12 and my deardear woke me up. talked and talked till i realised it was 3am in the morning. had to hang up and do some proper work. mugged superposition and... hai... i really hope the teachers dont hate me. they all seem to do so now. x.x

JIAYOU VJ PEOPLE HAVING EXAMS! PEIRONG LOVES YOU! ^^

and of course. baby i love you. <3

2009-03-02T00:36:00.003+08:00

STJ'09!

2009-03-02T00:34:00.001+08:00

i know this is late. but HAPPY BIRHTDAY DEBORAH, VICKY AND PEIRONG! ^^

2009-03-02T00:28:00.000+08:00

God's work of Art

God's work of Art

God's work of Art

-physics prac on 11 february 09

2009-02-25T23:45:00.004+08:00

peirong misses alot alot of people... ><
i want all of you back.

cant wait for this year to be over.
i hate growing up.

2009-02-22T13:51:00.005+08:00

Where shall i start... hmm. so long never blog le.

alright. THURSDAY.
was suppose to go mugmug with jas after school. but since ra and shion nan de free, we decided to go for lunch at ding tai fung to satisfy our xiao long bao cravings. well, of course it comes with a fun bitching and camwhoring session. lol. dont worry, we're not bitching about you whoever's reading this. hahahah.

and then... we went kino to get our pens. shion nearly got a 10 bucks pen. wth. lol. bought beard papa to make it up to jas after that and studied a little at woodlands library. hmm. realise woodland's really close to sengkang. like, 15 to 20 min on the bus?

FRIDAY
tennis in school was fun. we were meng whacking and ended up playing tennis with nanzhongquan. lol. 6Q is awesome man. hahaha. after school was band. hahah. having juniors is great. at least i have people talking to me now! ^^ parents day at night. went with mommy. mommy must be so proud. im the only kid who accompanied her mommy! ^^ yeah but actually i just want to make sure what goes into mom's ears is alright. lol. turned out not bad but just the usual committement stuff.

SATURDAY
danced in the morning for ayg with the chinese fans. added on to the tennis thing and i can just feel my right arm breakin apart. lol. lousy pok. anyway went lz daddy's place to return him his stuff and headed to woodlands to meet jas. woodlands library's not a good place for studying on a weekend. :( but no worries, starbucks is. managed to start on my chem equilibria. we caught SHE in causeway point! but they didnt sing. :( night sky's awesome in woodlands but not as nice as that outside thaipan. ^^

SUNDAY
HALLELUJAH TO THE LORD JESUS! ^^ i really want to thank the Lord for all the arrangements He made for me. i think i dont have to worry about intermediate this year anymore and i can concentrate on my A's! and i want to thank the Lord for not giving up on me, loving me and blessing me all that He has been blessing me with.

2009-02-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

confusion

2009-02-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST TEEHWEEHWEE!!!
you know how much i missed you. though we've seen each other like, at least once per week this month, but it feels like forever! hahah. life is just never the same without you. must set some day to study regularly kay. i cant stand not seeing you at least once a week. >< hahah. happy birthday. you zhang da yi sui le!

today's areally screwed day. hahah. peirong rushed out of her house. the moment she got onto the bus on time, she realised she forgot to bring hweehwee's present out. -.- nonetheless, the night ended beautifully with all my baobeis and deardears. ^^

2009-02-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

you add love, happiness and disappointment. what do you get?

2009-02-15T21:24:00.003+08:00

thanks for dinner and movie! ^^ would you please tell me what i said when i was sleeptalking. :x

2009-02-15T21:21:00.002+08:00

14 FEBRUARY 2009. HAPPY VALENTINES' PEOPLE! due to excess of cakes, i had stomachache in the morning which cost me my chance to try out pas de deux which looked SO fun. :( anyway, lunch with andrew. thanks for celebrating birthday with me. ^^ went office to look for zhikai. haiyoh boyboy ah. dont emo lah. what/who is meant to be yours will be yours.

2009-02-15T21:08:00.008+08:00

13 FEBRUARY 2009. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY! wanted to get my cupcakes done on thursday night. even went cheers in midnight to get my flour. but i eventually destroyed my cupcakes and tadaaa---sorry peeps. no cupcakes. :( thanks bena, yngtyng, yilin, kaixin, yuli, huixian, vera, yenngee, lichan for your vday presents and letters/cards. thank you lz daddy for chocs too. thank you sophia dear for rose. ^^

J1 orientation at night. super high. hahaha. spent it with yuenying, vera, cynthia, liuzhen and maybe jason who kept running away during the dance. :/ hahah. extreme highness. we have no idea what crappy dances were there and totally forgot the songs. but we joined in just as well. hahaha.

hahah. cynnie mommy says it looks like some countdown party and we can expect foam and free flow of beer to come in anytime. hahahahah.

we got kind of high and crazy we start taking photos with totally random J1s. hahahah.

2009-02-15T20:42:00.005+08:00

12 FEBRUARY 2009, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIN PEIRONG! hahahah. alright, i know im super lag. thank you for the many many presents, from 08S6Q (bena, yuli, yngtyng, huixian, kaixin, yilin, vera, shionyee, jialin, kevin, choonchuan), from family (liuzhen daddy and cynthia mommy), from jason, from bplusb (steph, huihong, sophia, krystal, gillian)! thank you band for celebrating birthday with me the day before and andrew/zhikai on saturday. presents this year are awesome things. either i need them or i love them. hahahah. love everyone loads loads! ^^ peirong is a happy xinfu girl with loads of people loving her! im so glad bplusb full attendance celebrating my birthday with me. nothing nothing nothing can ever beat that. <333

end of peirong's birthday affair. :)

2009-02-11T23:33:00.001+08:00

am i right to do this?

2009-02-11T23:14:00.003+08:00

probably the worst birthday eve ever being an idiot and tearing all the way to potong pasir to find my baobei. hahah. seriously baobei, you're pampering me too much. whenever im a little sad or something and i cry, you're always there. now im getting weaker and every little thing makes me cry and i always turn to you. tsktsk. like some greenhouse small flower. but reading your last msg to me today put a smile on my face. "that's what baobeis are for!" hahaha. love ya baby.

hmmm. anyway, what im sad about. nothing much. it's just me being the not so sensible but overly demanding me. i dont want anything, i dont want cakes, dont want presents, i only want people. i dont even want alot of people. i only want you guys. today's probably just a bad day and it's nobody's fault. but it's really heartbreaking when im left alone at the end of the day. yes it's true, we can have dinner every night. but it's different when you have it for a different purpose. i dont even need you to know what special day it is. i just want you to be free and available for me, to spend the day with me. was so upset, i had thoughts of not going to school tomorrow. but ohwell, a cute 70 year old ahma cheered me up. she saw me in tears and thought i broke up with my boyfriend. she started saying things like, "it's okay girl. dont cry. he left you? you can always find another one. you dont have to give up the entire forest for just one tree. look at yourself. maybe it's your fault? it may not necessarily be his. it's okay silly girl, dont cry..." and she went on and on. it was so funny, i stopped crying.

dinnered at jack's place with dad and mom and meimei. probably wont ever come back to the jack's place here. gave them countless chances but they still serve this kind of bad quality steak. hai... daddy's so upset with it. lol.

actually today was just so bad that i cant even remember tomorrow. just didnt felt like it was. :/

2009-02-10T21:40:00.000+08:00

nothing spoils my day more than screwing dance. :(

broke of time and money. should i do vday gifts? do you want vday gifts?

2009-02-09T22:36:00.002+08:00

went to bugis to study with daddy and jason after school today. then went for dance. ohman, i think i screwed up my chances of doing dan's item le lah. he was teaching us this chereo which he videoed us. and me being the slacker with my toe skin dropping off, i just didnt think that he was using that probably to gauge our standard and select dancers. sianzonatorzzzzzzz... oops. talking like gillian. hah.
that's probably the saddest thing today. :/okay. i hope he change his mind to do pas de deux. and i hope he thinks im skinny and small enough. i hope... i hope... aiyoh, okay lah. i hope one day i will stop sucking so much.

2009-02-09T22:11:00.004+08:00

Was suppose to be study day at lz daddy's place on sunday but changed venue to cynnie mommy's house because daddy says he wants to cook! so it turned out, while the chef cooks, he needs helpers. so we didnt study AT ALL. ohman. good thing i went daddy's house to do maths on saturday. anyway, spend a great deal of time cooking! daddy's aim of making all of us cook, is so that no matter what, we'll find dinner yummy. lol. mommy's really appreciative. she finished everything! hahah. *applause*

chef at work!

lao ban niang helping...

slave cooking! muahahah!

peirong preparing to eat! lalala! :P

i guess we can call it our family's tuan yuan fan bah! ^^

After that daddy got kind of high and started playing with mommy's hair, doing funny styles and design that only he thinks is awesome. -.- ohman. just look at how tortured mommy is.

the classic xiao zha bo look.

he got crazier and got her to stand in front of a fan.

it progressed to having jason carry a fan from below to give her that sexy blow hair look.

and last but not least, THE MARILYN MONROE. lol.

my mommy's so pretty right. credits for her hair goes to me. ^^

2009-02-06T23:24:00.001+08:00

i waited and waited.

2009-02-06T23:20:00.003+08:00

i've cried a whole day away but my day just brightens immediately with just an sms from you telling me everything's alright.

No matter how often we fall out with each other, we simply cant live without the other. awesome, isnt it? love ya. <3

2009-02-06T00:02:00.004+08:00

happiness is when we are together.

2009-02-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

no matter what i said or feel, i trust that deep inside you'll know, i'll always need you. it's probably because i felt that i was losing you and i felt scared. im really really scared. because i cant afford to lose you.

2009-02-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

i kind of dread next week. just wanna say, i dont want anything but to be with you. :/

2009-02-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILLIAN CHOO JING YI!

hahah. i still remember you cant write your chinese name until secondary school or something. enjoy your 18th! maybe you can buy me drinks or something! hahah.

2009-02-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

haven been blogging for days. hmmm let's see. where shall we begin...

sunday

oheightassixque CNY da tuan bai. supposed schedule for the class was first to zhuoyan's place, followed by zhonghan and then jialin. missed zhuoyan's place because of ballet in the morning. previously won alot in mahjong but lost it all in ban luk the previous day, being the mahjong queen me, still managed to win some handy cash in zhonghan's place. whoo. hee. anyway, zhonghan's place's really awesome. i love his toilet and esp his bed! hee. wanna marry my mom? hahahaha. he has this karaoke room in his house too which we spend our last few moments in his house at. went to jialin's place and decided to not to continue mahjong but watch from aside instead. found myself a disciple in mahjong. lol. lim zhuo yan, you owe your shifu a treat! :P

monday

really really screwed day. this really defines a series of unfortunate events. its like take bus-take wrong bus, concession end-run out of coins, change bus-bus break down, travel more than one hour to a supposedly can reach in 15 min to find that the shop never open, plus a screwed phone call which made me totally break down. danced and met huihong at parkway to shop for gillian's present.

tuesday

schooled and then shopped around with sophiedear for gillian's present. went to VJ but they havent ended orientation so we kind of hang around for awhile. huihong went to fill her water gun with boiling water. silly girl. the hot water scalded her wrist which kind of spoiled her day. okay, take care and dont be so blur again! it got a little sian in the bus as everyone was in a pretty sucky mood. but the atmosphere changed for the better when everyone had something to fill their stomachs. hahah. steph joined us despite her busy day. love you loads! hahah. full clique! i cant get any happier spending my day with my bplusb! ^^

wednesday

thanks to jason, i didnt go to school today. lol. nah. okay, mommy sort of fell down and hurt her spine. so i got to bring her to the doc. but no worries. she's fine, besides having to go the the sinseh to do something about her spine and her bad mood. went for band eventually and watched band and mad cca orientation. both did great! just that i cant really hear band with the loud loud crowd. dinnered at pizza hut after band and did a little maths which i dont think i'll ever get started with if im left on my own. yup. end of my day! ^^

2009-02-02T23:43:00.001+08:00

i'll love you no matter what happens...

2009-01-31T23:58:00.003+08:00

Have you…
1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?
uhh with tigger? maybe. lol. i always kiss it before i sleep.

2. Slept in a different bed?
yup. it's a natural tendency for me to nua on a bed when i see one.

3. Loved someone so much that you couldn’t live another second without that person?
YES. guess who! no prizes for having the right answer!

4. Made out with 2 different people in one night?
nope.

5. Thought your cousin was hot?
uhhh not really. pri sch and below?

6. Been in love?
hope so?

7. Slept past noon?
DUH! who doesn't.

8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?
OHYES. with my cousins when we were kids and playing in the bathtub!

9. Gone over the speed limit?
nope. im gonna do that soon.

10. Painted your room?
nope. anybody wants to paint it for me?

11. Drove a car?
nope. gonna drive one soon.

12.Danced in front of your mirror?
yup.

13. Gotten a hickey?
uhh no. not nice.

14. Been dumped?
NOPE. heh. i dont get dumped.

15. Stole money from a friend?
maybe? i cant rmb. :x

16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
yup.

17. Been in a fist fight?
no. -.- im demure and peaceloving. i dont fight.

18. Snuck out of your house?
dont think so? i guang ming zheng da walk out one.

19. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
yeah. it's quite sad.

20. Been arrested?
nope. nearly? lol. for stealing straws.

21. Made out with a stranger?
uhh no no. i dont want to contaminate my mouth.

22. Left your house without telling your parents?
mmhhmm.

23. Had a crush on your neighbour?
no. -.- please look at my neighbour before asking that.

24. Ditched school to do something more fun?
HAH. im not telling.

25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex?
both lah.

26. Seen someone die?
no. it's painful.

27. Been on a plane?
yup. only 3 times in my sad life. lol.

28. Kissed a picture?
PICTURE?! uhh. okay i have better people to kiss.

29. Slept in the opposite sex’s bed?
yup.

30. Love someone or miss someone right now?
YES I DO. ><

31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
YES! ALL THE TIME! ^^

32. Made a snow angel?
no. i havent seen snow.

33. Played dress up?
no? who plays that. lol.

34. Cheated while playing a game?
DUH. tell me who havent. you can go be a saint.

35. Been lonely?
><

36. Fallen asleep at work/school?
UHHH... can i not answer this question?

37. Been to a club?
nope.

38. Felt an earthquake?
nope.

39. Touched a snake?
yes. hugged it.

40. Ran a red light?
ran ah. red man yes lah. all the time when i jaywalk. lol.

41. Been suspended from school?
nope. hoping i wont ever be. :x

42. Had detention?
ohnoo.. actually. i kinda like detention. the do homework/study kind. lol.

43. Been in a car?
yup.

44. Hated the way you look?
sometimes? but im generally happy with myself lah.

45. Witnessed a crime?
yeah. more than 1. do i consider myself? lol.

46. Been lost?
YES. like i am now.

47. Been to the opposite side of the country?
yup. boon lay. freakin' far. i was able to watch 2 episodes of gossip girl on the train. x.x

48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?
yeah. sometimes.

49. Cried yourself to sleep?
hahah. yeah i do. but i dont think it's uncommon.

50. Sang karaoke?
KBOX FTW!

51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
yeah. hahah.

52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
OMG. LOL. YES. i have sweet coming out of my nose. you wouldnt want to know details.

53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
no. never seen snow.

54. Kissed in the rain?
aww how romantic. okay. i'll do that with my future bf. ^^

55. Sung in the shower?
yupyup. twinkle twinkle little starrr..

56. Had a dream that you married someone?
nahh.

57. Played getting married?
nope.

58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
NO?? thats kinda... ridiculous. lol.

59. Ever gone to school partially nude?
i dare you to try that.

60. Been to a blind date?
nope

61. Sat on a roof top?
yeah. think so? but i cant really remember.

62. Ever not take a shower for a week?
NOO. omg thats gross.

63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
Hah. scary movies not my thing.

64. Played chicken?
xia mi dong dong? O.o

65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
nope. ^^

66. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
no. lol. how i wish i was.

67. Broken a bone?
nope.

68. Been easily amused?
YES MUAHAHHAHAAH. by this stupid quiz!

69. Laugh so hard you cry?
lol! like baobei just now.

70. Cheated on a test?
yeah. hee.

71. Forgotten someone’s name?
yeah. probably some pri sch classmates?

72. Blacked out from drinking?
nah. good drinking genes runs in the family.

73. Played a prank on someone?
yupyup.

74. Gone to a late night movie?
yupyup.

75. Made love to anything not human?
EEEWWW.

76. Failed a class?
uh duh. lol.

77. Choked on something you’re not supposed to eat?
dont think so.

78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?
no? lol. but i think i can dance for 10 hours. hahaha.

79. Cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Nope. i shi faithful de lor.

80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
huh? harry potter's birthday or smth?

81. Thrown strange objects?
ehh probably?

82. Felt like someone else?
yeah. weird aint it?

83. Thought about running away?
yeah. all the time.

84. Ran away?
nope. no guts lah.

85. Had detention and not attend it?
uhh. nope.

86. Made parents cry?
my mom loves to cry.

87. Cried over someone?
yeah. loads.

88. Owned more than 5 sharpies?
What's a sharpie?!

89. Dated someone more than once?
no? never dated before.

90. Have a dog?
Nope

91. Own an instrument?
yup. piano and guitar.

92. Been in a band?
hahah. CSB and HCband loh.

93. Drank 25 sodas in a day?
no. but i like greenteas. ^^

94. Broken a cd?
yeah. for fun. damn hard to break.

95. Shot a gun?
nopw

96. Been on IM for more than 5 hours?
hee. all the time! ><

97. Fell asleep at the computer?
yeahh.

98. Have a major crush on someone right now?
maybe...?

99. Have a religion?
yes. christian.

100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral?
"we love peirong"

101. Loved someone but didn’t dare to tell that person?
yeah. :x

102. Slapped someone in the face?
no i dont. im demure rmb?

103. Swam in the sea?
yup. its fun!

104. Made out in a movie theatre?
no? waste ticket money. lol.